Day 4 - KABOOM!!

Well, yesterday kind of went off the rails.  I did fine until yesterday evening and then fell back into my old habit of eating at night.  My husband was still down with the stomach bug (Thank God for Lysol and bleach), so I did the grocery shopping.  Usually, he does it while I work on the weekend chores at home.  I'm not a huge fan of crowds and the weekend is when everyone else is doing their grocery shopping too.  I was kind of stoked though because whenever I go out shopping, I get in a lot of steps.  Well, apparently, we didn't need enough from the store so I didn't get my steps.  That annoyed me. The afternoon was when everything started coming apart because I was, obviously, being a pouty baby about it.  My sleep is still not where I would prefer it to be so I was annoyed that I was doing everything.  It's not like my husband could do anything about it.  He was sick (totally not his fault).  I let my inner whiner take over.

In the evening, he was feeling good enough to try something to eat.  I asked him if he wanted something from the store and he said he did but he wasn't sure what he wanted.  I said I would just look around and see what I could find for him.  This was a horrible idea.  I went to our neighborhood market and was wandering around looking for something to put on his stomach.  He gets motion sick and he likes peanut M&M's when that happens, so I grabbed two bags of those and I grabbed a Hershey bar for me.  Then, I walked over to the cold case and found some vanilla ice cream and I thought that might settle his stomach so I got him that and grabbed myself a pint of Chocolate chip cookie dough too.  I'm sure you can see where this is going.

I got home with my stash and then went to go eat dinner.  My son and his girlfriend had gone out to pizza a couple of days ago and left some in the refrigerator and that was dinner.  Not only did I fall off the wagon, I jumped off, struck a match and lit it on fire.  Even while I was eating this ridiculous amount of food, I was angry with myself but it wasn't enough to stop me.



Oh yeah.  Somewhere in this disaster there were kettle chips too.  Awesome. And, I didn't doing any kind of exercise outside of the grocery shopping.

I'm trying not to be too hard on myself because this is only day 4.  It's not like I was magically cured of overeating on day 1.  If it was that easy, I would have never gained this weight.  On the other hand, I'm pissed off at myself because the only person I can blame for doing this is me.  No one held me down and forced everything down my throat.

So the breakdown for yesterday:

Breakfast:  Shakeology

Lunch:  I don't remember because I was being a jerk yesterday.

Dinner was the shit show above.

Anyway, that was my Saturday.  Hope yours was better.  Have a wonderful Sunday and remember, Only I Can Change My Life, No One Can Do It For Me

Day 2 of the Emotional Eating 30 Day Challenge:

What do I want most in life? How can I get it?

This one changes all the time of course.  Right now, I want to become gainfully employed again (my lab lost their grant money so I lost my job). I would really like to find something where I can be my own boss because I'm tired of my life being controlled by others.  I will get that  by researching different avenues (obviously, I can't run a lab out of my home, so I'm going to have to change course). That's a tough one because there are so many scams out there.  I did sign up for a coding class though (I am a super geek so I think this will be fun).  I have to believe in myself and keep plugging away at it.  This applies to my weight loss as well.